I'm scared. My grandma is dying. She has anywhere from 3 days to a month to no one knows. My family's falling apart. I have my first show choir competition in about a week.
When I found out that my grandma was going home with hospice, the first thing I did was text my best friend, the next was text the one person I knew who would lead me to God. My best friend and I spent the next two and a half hours talking at the near-by McDonald's. I cried a lot. While we were there, she told me to take the trip to Minnieapplos I'm going on and let it be a get away from everything. I said, "But that's a month away... I don't know if I can make it that long." Suddenly, she started crying. "You have to make it. You have to. You know you can. You just have to... for me..."
She's terrified I'm going to give up. And if I do, she'll give up too. I don't wanna give up, but I'm barely strong enough for this. My faith is hanging on by a thread, my family is falling apart, and my aunt is expecting my faith in God to pull us through. There's only one problem: My faith in God isn't nearly what it used to be.
I do not know what to say...except that I lost my grandma who was also one of my best friends in October and it has been very difficult for me. With her she had been sick on and off for a couple of years, went into the hospital for a month and then into palliative care for a week before dying. Saying good bye to her the week before she died was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I don't know exactly how you feel but I can relate...
ReplyDeleteBefore I leave, I want to tell you that God WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU! He LOVES you and even though life is worse than it's ever been before He is STILL there and He still cares...He will never let you go. Call out to Him, talk to Him and listen...He is there.
I'm not sure about your Grandma but with mine, I knew where she was going and that really helped me. Another resource I found was in writing. I wrote more poems and short stories than I ever have in the first couple of weeks of her death. I also wrote one, very comforting poem to her which I shared at her funeral and which God has used in my life to help me so much. I don't know what your resource is but God will give you something to help you through whether it be music, writing, a friend...
As I go (I know that this has been long! Sorry), I would like to share a verse that God has really used in my life.
Therefore be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9
I will be praying for you!
~Elizabeth~
God gives and he takes away. You may not want to hear that but that is the truth. God may be trying to open your physical eyes and the eyes of your heart to something. Now the question is are you going to pay attention to what he has in store for you or are you going to try and handle this situation on your own?
ReplyDeleteGod is always with you and He always will be, even if you don't think He is.
ReplyDeleteRemember that.